Hatred is eating me up .

Hectic days .

I have just completed my first paper yesterday and i am freaking tired . My mind was blank and i could not answer yesterday's paper .

Well , one thing i learned from my father's death that even how close family members , they often stab you right in the back just for the sake of their profit . Their profit is much more important than grief .Money does wonders.

I hacked into my father's email account and found quite sad stuff , mostly about his feelings but what i have done i cant repair those arguments . Now basically i am living in the world of regret and hatred and this hatred building inside of me is enough to squash anyone to death if that rage suddenly comes up .

Although 20 years , i still have not the complete control on my rage futhermore to cool myself down . Shizo is back , i am sure of that for i keep getting comments but i rather just not express it .

Bought a book named : Kill me once . Super nice book about serial killing , basically u guys know i am so into serial killers . Just its kind of unfair the good guys always win , why cant the bad guys win ? Because it will make the world unbalanced ? Because it is meant to be ? How if there were such things bad guys always win , then we will follow it ? Human , complex minds .

Nothing to be said , just rotting in my room , listening to songs and day dreaming .

Had my first "Buka puasa" treat with Haiyyu's family . Nice .